Philosophical phriday - a lexicon of wares

Abandonware - left to rot in a cul-de-sac off the information superhighway
Adware - pushes products like a street dealer
Alienware - arrived from another universe
Aware - clues provided, boxes ticked, back to normal, things to do
Badware - should be sent to the naughty step
Betaware - beta hope it works
Blackware - interleaved with whiteware, forms a zebra crossing
Bloatware - so fat it has its own postcode
Bundleware - less bundle of joy, more bundle of old rags
Cloudware - play misty for me
Copware - press the wrong button and get hit with 50,000 volts
Crapware - press the wrong button and evacuate your bowel
Creepware - started lower-left, imperceptably heading upper-right
Crimeware - reveals the secret password character-by-character on TV
Crippleware - almost does what you want, but not quite
Crudware - the oh so polite version of crapware
Donationware - like being mugged by the tin-shakers
Dribbleware - something to keep old aunt Doris amused before bingo
Everyware - ubiquitous software
Expireware - demands money with menaces for The Ultimate Answer
Firmware - full of erotic entertainment
Floppyware - absent erotic entertainment
Foistware - mysteriously dropped into your shopping trolley
Freeware - free as in birds not beer
Grayware - occupies the ominous shadow between white and blackware
Greenware - hugs trees, loves penguins, saves whales
Grossware - buckets of gore in glorious Technicolor
Hardware - stuffed so full of erotic entertainment that it might burst
Hotware - a pointless waste of CPU cycles, warms the office on a cool day
iWare - from a company with defective shift keys
Junkware - used to navigate Asian coastal waters
Lameware - should be put out of its misery, call the vet
Liveware - as used in defibrillators and insulin pumps
Malware - programmed by Malcolm The Programmer
Meatware - human-powered grey-matter, a critical system component
Middleware - sits between the bottom and top of memory
Nagware - repeatedly reminds you of the things you foolishly agreed to do
Netware - buckets of gore, less the buckets
Noware - software gleefully announced 'a while back'
Oldware - warns other software to get off its lawn
Payware - all it takes to make it work is just one more dollar
Peopleware - no AI here, no siree
Promoware - all flashing lights and glitter bombs
Ransomware - pay up or the PC gets it!
Scareware - shouts boo to entire flocks of geese
Scumware - floats to the top of the Interwebs
Secaware - for seekers of the very highest quality consulting, of course
Shelfware - gravity anchors for helium-filled shelving
Skinware - sold in blister packs
Skyware - simulates clouds in the cloud
Smartware - can be out-foxed by a pre-schooler
Someware - that program you dimly recall using years ago for something
Spookware - definition redacted
Spouseware - to keep your better half amused
Spyware - to keep your better half surveilled
Stalkerware - follows you home from the Internet cafe
Trojanware - appears quite useful but was produced by Big Software Co
Tryware - see if you can get this to install and run, go on, give it another go
Tupperware - cold storage for unappetising leftovers
Underwear - worn below the middleware
Vapourware - nearly as dense as inter-galactic space
Warmware - almost does what you want it to do, but not quite
Wetware - so funny you'll pee yourself laughing
Whiteware - appliance applications
Wormware - excellent for luring phish
Xware - it is no more, nice plumage though ...
Yware - nobody knows for sure what it's for
Zware - from the planet Zog, nanu nanu